Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Randomize
