Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
