I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
