youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
