Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
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Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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