i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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