if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
