his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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