Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
