wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.