Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.