Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.