Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude it was a lap dance

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  (410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club (301): Dude it was a lap dance http://tfl.nu/d6y0
  Replies (15) Good night (1509) Bad night (454)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...

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  (716): Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises... http://tfl.nu/8fi6
  Replies (13) Good night (5506) Bad night (721)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.

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  (972): So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting. http://tfl.nu/8ip1
  Replies (40) Good night (5569) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

  (760): View more from California

  and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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  (909): do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"? (760): and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook http://tfl.nu/nbai
  Replies (28) Good night (4813) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

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  (781): He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie. http://tfl.nu/a1e2
  Replies (12) Good night (3905) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed

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  (575): shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed http://tfl.nu/vpxa
  Replies (11) Good night (1717) Bad night (2846)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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  (419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru
  Replies (18) Good night (3282) Bad night (4598)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.

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  (601): Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate. http://tfl.nu/i871
  Replies (10) Good night (1102) Bad night (2767)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (4975) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

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  (910): Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job. http://tfl.nu/jru8
  Replies (6) Good night (3191) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down

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  (914): Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down http://tfl.nu/b2xq
  Replies (15) Good night (2826) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five

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  (630): You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five http://tfl.nu/ynd3
  Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv

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  (317): His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv http://tfl.nu/yd6c
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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  (615): Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming http://tfl.nu/odmb
  Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.

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  (615): I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn. http://tfl.nu/8jte
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (192)

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