I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
