That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
