Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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