just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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