oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize