i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
