i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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