My boss' voice literally gives me gas
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish i was in the wii world.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize