new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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