You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
