Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
