Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
