didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
