I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
oh god was she eating orange peels again
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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