Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize