Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
