I'm eating all of the evidence.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
