I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
