Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
