Non-Jews are for practice
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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