Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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