Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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