Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
