so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
