Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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