When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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