if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
