You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
