Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Everyone says I win the strip club
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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