i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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