I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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