Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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