I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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