Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize