Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
