cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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