I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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