Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
