life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
