hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
