Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
