is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
