No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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