I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
