The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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