How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
