Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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