i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize