Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
