4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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