i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
