3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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